If there’s anyone who knows a lot about outdoor survival, it’s Bear Grylls. We understand that his tips are pretty hardcore and not doable by everyone in city life, so we thought of getting a simple list of survival tips for your Scottish winter which even Bear Grylls won’t tell you. These tips are going to blow your mind for sure as they are funny as hell and will keep you warm in this winter at any cost. So here we bring for you – 12 Top Scottish Winter Survival Tips That Nobody Will Tell You Ever and you must know…

12. Carry your winter ware collection all the time.

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Scottish climate is always changing during this time of the year, so carry snow shoes, an ice axe, a stove, gloves, a swimsuit, and shades with you all the time.

11. Winter drinks

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Stock yourself with basics, like lager, cider, whisky, port, white wine, red wine, vodka, brandy, gin, and bread. This would help you to keep yourself full and warm from inside.

10. Keep exercising

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Exercise warms you up, so as opposed to putting the heating on, purchase a ’90s jazzercise DVD and simply go fucking nuts.

9. Keep yourself active

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Individuals are often portrayed as “hot with rage”, so warm yourself up by presenting yourself to something that angers you, as Donald Trump or Jedward. Click on the next page to continue.

8. Keep things on fire

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Set fire to things you needn’t bother with, similar to furniture, service bills, and Red Hot Chili Pipers CDs.

7. Here is one another good idea

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Trick yourself into believing you’re warm by watching old episodes of London’s Burning on YouTube.

6. Lame excuses!

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Get a sick break from work for 4 months by telling your manager you have potato blight. If they question whether you really have an 19th-century disease that only affects vegetables, start crying.

5. Great idea to survive in the winter

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If by any chance you have to step outside for work, insert arm holes in a duvet and wear it as your new winter wear coat. Click on the next page to continue.

4. Can you do this?

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Even better, transform your whole bed into a getting outfit so you never need to abandon it.

3. Baths are hot, so never get out of one. Stay in the bath forever. Bath!

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Everybody is going to love that!

2. Add drinks to food

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Instead of poring milk on your cereal or porridge, use whisky. For an extra boost, leave the cereal out altogether.

1. Yay! Go Zorbing..!

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Tired of getting soaked in rain each time you go outside? Simply purchase a zorb ball and zorb to work each day. You’ll look super cool.

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