A couple of months into any relationship, you settle into a schedule. There’s nothing amiss with that, however once the sparkles aren’t flying any longer, it’s very important to focus on your better half’s mental health. If your partner is stressed, crabby, or repulsive, don’t point the finger at her. There are a number of facts — including you — that have made this situation.
Work is a trouble.
We all know this. Either it’s her job or yours, work duties can put a damper on a relationship. Sometimes when your occupations are keeping you from seeing each other, try to expand the time you do have together.
“What are we?”
It can be hard to go from randomly seeing to a long-term connection. One (or both) of you could be doubtful to fall right in, and a condition like this forms an uneasy stress. It’s hard to talk about this stuff, but it’s also important for your emotional well-being.
She’s taking all the stress.
When you don’t live together, you need to make an try to stay in touch. If you’re not making this — say, she’s the one who regularly makes plans or always begins the texting — she might be becoming sick of all the heavy lifting.
She’s performing all the housework.
If you do live together, you’ve gotta make sure housekeeping is a 50/50 job. And also if you don’t live together, you’re spending time at each other’s homes…so do it right. Always be sure to wash up your meals and keep your home looking pleasant.
Arguments are inescapable, but if you’re going to hold them, at least try to make them fruitful. This means that, even in the heat of the moment, you need to give her a chance to say her piece, and also take in what she’s saying.
You’re not surprising for her anymore.
Everyone loves a nice surprise — maybe a home-cooked feast or a sensible present. You were apparently full of surprises when you were first dating, but over time, you get satisfied. Even when you’ve settled into things, it’s always important to show her she matters.
You’re not being your real.
If you’re going to date someone long-term, you’ll ultimately have to show some emotional vulnerability. Sorry, but it’s a fact. Don’t put on your manly-man facade around her. Be free, be true, and most importantly, talk what you’re thinking about.
You don’t care about her emotions.
Here’s the flip side: You need to check in with your girlfriend from time to time — especially when she seems stressed. Maybe you don’t want to delve into her emotions, but this is part of the deal when it comes to a relationship. Always empathize.
She’s not sure she’s the only one.
You might not be cheating (seriously, you’d better not be cheating!), but maybe you still ogle other girls in public. Maybe there’s an ex you’re still friendly with… If this is the case, cut it out. Stuff like this undermines relationships.
Something’s going on with her friends.
You can’t pretend to understand female relationships, but you can at least be aware of some of the dynamics. Unlike some of the other stuff here, this one’s not on you. But like just about everything else, it’s good to communicate about this.
You’re not interesting.
You must have done something to sweep her off her feet in the early days, but now? Now you’re concentrating your mental power on games. Read a book, stay engaged, and make sure that time with you is time well-spent. Don’t fall into a rut.
You hear, but don’t listen.
You’re probably seeing a theme here: Communication is powerful. But when something’s been talked, it’s crucial to take effort. If you’re not adjusting yourself accordingly based off the things you’re talking about, that communication loses all of its positive power.