Tweets That Are Funny Because They’re Damn True
"Ur weird if ur on holiday n u don't go up to ur hotel room and lay on the bed naked eatin Lays."
EVERY DAY ALL DAY
Adulthood is mostly whispering
"For Fucks sake"
Every time the phone rings
— i (@themrsik) December 14, 2016
Just remember to whisper it before you answer the phone!
Going to sleep: It's so cold in here, I'm totally wearing these socks to bed
Middle of the night: GET THESE DEVIL FOOT GLOVES OFF ME
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) December 8, 2016
SAME. Only the difference between the first and second is about ten minutes for me.
Facebook can never do worse to me
FACEBOOK: hey remember how you were engaged two years ago
ME: no thanks
FACEBOOK: your friend's racist
FACEBOOK: buy something bitch
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) August 30, 2016
Facebook is reflecting your bad decisions back at you, forcing introspection, and that disturbs you.